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Every spring and fall we go to Dan at Step on East Boulevard to talk about what’s rocking his world.
SJ: Blondie again.
DM: Yes, Blondie?
SJ: Spring has sprung. What should I be wearing on my hot, sweaty feet this summer? Flip-flops (hopefully)?
DM: Umm, no. You would look fabulous in the Cordani shoes we’ve been carrying. They’re comfortable, stylish and have a substantial heel, so you won’t be aerating the soccer field.
 SJ: I know how much those cost. Don’t you have them in a Nine West version?
DM: Look, you can wear these all summer with shorts, skirts, jeans—anything. Make the investment and you won’t regret it.
SJ: What else is hot?
DM: This is one of those seasons when there are so many options for women to choose from. If you want tall, flat, skinny, chunky, colors, neutrals, metallic; whatever you want, there is a shoe for you.
SJ: What should I throw out?
DM: How many times do I have to tell you to get rid of those damn Uggs? And those Dansko clogs? Birth control for your feet!
SJ: Pipe down, Beavis. I’ve got fond memories of suntan hosiery and white sandals in the summer. Any chance that’ll come back?
DM: You know, I love my grandmother, God rest her soul. I remember when she would walk in her white sandals with her suntan hosiery ½ rolled up and ½ rolled down and she would slide out of her shoes because of the stockings slipping on the sole. In the interest of all grandmothers’ hip health, I would ask that we not bring back that look.
SJ: I’ve seen white sandals with black stockings in Vogue, or was it Teen Beat? Your thoughts?
DM: Well, that is hot. A hot mess. Stay away from it.\
SJ: I’ve seen that you’re carrying a ton of colorful shoes. I want to embrace that trend, especially red patent leather, but I’ve heard only women of ill repute wear red shoes.
DM: Honey, you could be running down the street naked and it wouldn’t matter as long as you were wearing great shoes. I heard that same nasty rumor when I was taking high school Spanish in the 1980’s, but those days are gone. Get the red shoes.
SJ: Our economic times are tough. If a gal has to make a choice between a new bag and shoes, what would you suggest? Becoming part of an experimental drug trial?
DM: Let’s not get hasty. Nancy Reagan always said, “Just say ‘No’ to drugs.” I would suggest you encourage children to have a lemonade stand in your yard and take a cut of the proceeds. This teaches them the value of a dollar, and you look fantastic in the process. It’s a win-win.
SJ: Thoughts on Crocs?
DM: You must graduate from Crocs when you graduate from college. Unless you’re a doctor. If you’re a doctor and you are saving lives, by all means, wear them.
SJ: So, faced with your own personal hell, which would you choose to wear: Crocs or Dansko clogs?
DM: (Click. Dial tone)
SJ: Hello?? Hello??
~ Sheri Joseph
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