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Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it - Mark Twain
This piece started off about art, being that this is our 3rd annual guide to the galleries. Well, I know nothing about art; I barely know what art is unless someone tells me.
 So I got about five sentences in and ran into a fortified concrete wall. No go. So I changed direction 165 degrees and proceeded down a path that Julie (loving wife) refuses to listen to and has banned me from writing about, but she’s not in town right now, so I can sneak this one in. Here and now I would like to discuss my absolute hatred and distrust of experts.
So-called “experts” drive me out of my skin: they are on the Today show on a regular basis explaining why water is bad and Coke is good, or why dryer sheets cause cancer or some other inane topic, but those aren’t even the ones that make me ill. The experts that drive me to drink are the environmental know-it-alls spouting like a busted water hose on the topic of global warming.
Now don’t go throwing your Toyota Prius keys in pure disgust just yet. I separate paper from plastic from aluminum in my overflowing recycle bin, and I will be the first to switch to a hydrogen-powered SUV. What I just can’t come to grips with is how they can predict the global temperature 10, 20 even 100 years from now, but they can’t tell me with any sort of certainty if it will rain, snow or be sunny… tomorrow! They have little to no idea about the weather tomorrow, and their guesses seem to be just as often wrong as right. AND — even better — everything is being blamed on global warming. Everything: snow, rain, drought, fires, floods, and, potentially, earthquakes. How does that work? Cold and hot blamed on global warming? And THEN (trying not to hyperventilate now) ever year in big bold letters on the front page of every daily publication within 200 miles of the beach, “This will be an above average hurricane season.” You know, last year it was predicted — by my beloved experts — that it would be an above-average hurricane season, but by the end of the year it was below average. Once again, basically a 50-50 chance of being right.
All this hard and fast data that I’ve collected on the environment and its experts leads me to one thing: SARS. Well, SARS, shark attacks, the West Nile Virus and/or Bird Flu. Yep. Just another media driven firestorm because they can’t come up with anything better. Britney is wearing her panties, Paris is in rehab, and the movie and TV writers are still on strike.
~Todd Trimakas
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