My friend Staci LeFleur sees me at school. We talk about the 40 Days of Yoga and compare notes a lot. She comes up to me all excited. “I think I’ve got an experience you could put in your blog!” She tells me about a yoga class she went to that was totally packed, mat to mat. Staci is a “three feet” (of personal space) type girl and that takes some getting used to. At the end of class, the instructor asks everyone to get into a sort of supine twist, which means your arms are outstretched at your sides and your knees are to the opposite side. It was awkward because she has long arms and if she stretched her arms out the proper way, she would be touching the guy next to her. As if the guy next to her sensed her frustration, he took her hand and placed it on his bare, sweaty chest. Staci went with it and relaxed. Normally, she would’ve been grossed out, but yoga seems to be this alternate universe where it’s okay to touch strangers and be in close proximity. She said that it was the most intimate experience with a stranger she’s ever had (she’s never wrestled in KY Jelly at a college bar, apparently). Anyway, after the class, the guy gets up and leaves like it was no big deal. We talk about how this ‘40 Days of Rejuvenation’ thing is forcing us to get out of our comfort zones (that’s what it’s supposed to do, of course).

I go to class the next morning and MJ asks me how it was. I tell him I’m starting to enjoy it even though it’s hard to be a beginner and get used to the sweaty, mat-to-mat thing. I relay Staci’s bare-chested guy story to MJ and I say at the end, “Isn’t that cool? I mean, it wasn’t like he was trying to pick her up or anything. It’s just the way you are in yoga.” MJ’s response was “Riiiight.” He says it with this all-knowing dirt bag smirk. Essentially, he thinks the “yoga is an alternative universe theory” is crap. “Look,” He says, stating his case, “all guys want women to touch them, whether you’re in yoga or not. I’ll bet yoga guys get more tail than the dog pound.” “No! That’s not why he pulled her hand to his chest; he was trying to make her comfortable!” I say this with surprising conviction. Usually, I’m joining right in to the choir of skepticism. “Yoga forces you to connect in a way that you don’t normally experience. I mean, when I go to the Y, I just stick my headphones in my ears and don’t even make eye contact.” “Well, you’re just naturally aloof,” he replies in a factual way. I’m stunned. Me? Aloof? I’m friendly, I’m funny, and I’m polite, dammit! “Yeah, you’re all those things, but you’re aloof, too.” Ahh, MJ, always so f*&^ing right. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice, but who’s the fool now?

Maybe I should back up here and say that in this first week of the 40 Days program, Life Coach Trudi said one of our assignments was to find out the hard truth about ourselves. Was this positive or negative? Trudi said it could be either. I spent the past couple days thinking about this. What is the hard truth about me? I asked MJ that morning. He veered away from it. It’s the philosophical equivalent of “Do I look fat in these pants?” Danger danger! Maybe being aloof is a clue to what my “Hard Truth” is. I’m uncomfortable making friendly chitchat. I can do it, but I avoid it. Conversations about the weather, basketball, schools…ugh. It’s more comfortable for me to barely give a smile and go on my merry way. But by doing this, I’m communicating something--I don’t have time for you. Being aloof helps me avoid opening up to the people around me, thereby avoiding rejection. Shit. Is that my hard truth?

~ Sheri Joseph