Week 5 is about centering and being present in all things big and small. Ugh. Do you know how hard it is to be present and “in the moment” and centered with two small boys? The amount of laundry I do on a daily basis nearly undoes me--and don’t get me started on palm prints all over the glass doors. I’m much more comfortable being distracted: on the phone, watching crap TV, checking e-mails, running errands with my boys strapped into their seats in the back…but Baron wants us to be present.

Okay, fine. I think this might be a little easier for me to do since our Internet and phone service are still not hooked up. I can’t get on the computer and zone out, or talk forever on the phone, but I find a way to distract myself with all the unpacking we still have left to do, and the re-arranging of objects. But IJ catches my hand and asks if he can please play outside and how can I resist? It’s a gorgeous day. What am I gonna do, tell him he has to watch TV because mommy has laundry to fold? (Okay, I admit I thought about it. But I didn’t actually do it, so it doesn’t count.) We go outside and he plays with the neighborhood children while I watch from a rocking chair. I read a magazine I’ve wanted to get to and meet some of the people on our street and wonder why it’s taken us so long to do this. At the end of the day, my mother calls and asks what I’ve accomplished for the day and I say with some pride, “A big fat nothing, and it felt good.” 

At the end of the day--and the end of my life--I want to look back and know I savored the time I had with my children when they were little. Their desire to run outside and catch worms won’t last (and neither will the tiny handprints on glass). Did I drown myself with worry and lament the boredom that comes with motherhood, or did I take a deep breath and let all the “stuff” that needs cleaning and doing go? That choice is given to me every day, and it breaks my heart to admit I often willingly choose the path of distraction. If the 40 Days of Rejuvenation has done anything, it’s forced me to see this and know that my choices are deliberate; that’s a nice present.


~ Sheri Joseph