When I first started this blog, I saw a girl who had done the 40-Day Rejuvenation thing a year ago and she told me that by day 28 she had quit because she was so sick of herself. I thought that was hilarious, but now I know what she’s talking about. There are only so many deep thoughts I’m willing to have, and sometimes I feel like I’ve used up a lifetime in these 40 days. I’ve noticed that a couple of the folks who were at the first meeting haven’t gone lately. I’ll admit I’ve skimmed more than a few chapters and skipped some home practices and counted hitting the snooze button as a morning meditation, but I still go to the meetings and follow Life Coach Trudi’s directions when she tells us to write down our life’s purpose and share some personal stuff with this roomful of strangers. No judgment, I’m just saying… I was okay with it all until Life Coach Trudi had us hold hands at the last meeting. I f%^&ing hate holding hands!

Lemme just tell you, one of the reasons I dig the hot yoga is the sweating. Everybody sweats, and this makes me feel good because I have hyperhydrosis (which is just a fancy term for “I’m one sweaty beast”). When everyone else is hot and sweaty, I figure they don’t notice my soaking wet mat. We get in a circle and hold hands and I try to discreetly get the two yoga chicks on either side of me to hold my wrists instead of my hands, but they both insist, “Oh, no, we’re all sweaty. It doesn’t matter.” Instead of making me feel better, their willingness to hold my now drippy palms just makes it worse. I watch helplessly as drops of sweat fall to the floor in slow motion and I just want to disappear. I just know they think I‘m disgusting. We stand in the circle for hours (an exaggeration, but you know what I mean) and when we finally break free from the dreaded hand-holding, I turn to both yoga chicks and apologize profusely. They smile politely and say it’s fine, no big deal, while simultaneously wiping their hands on their pants. Ugh—so embarrassing.

I guess I’m sharing this with you to say that even with the 40-Day revolution there are things that will change and some that won’t. The difference comes in how I accept that. My hands are still sweaty (have been since I was a kid), I’m still aloof, I still don’t quite believe in my abilities; I compose a Target shopping list while meditating and cuss at myself when I fall out of a yoga pose, but I’m learning to be a little more gracious about my personal idiosyncrasies and, in turn, about the idiosyncrasies of others (until they really piss me off)…

~ Sheri Joseph