Sex for Money – An Escort’s Tale

Her first client was fat, breathed with the aid of an oxygen mask, and had a small penis.

Ava was about 21 at the time. She was nervous and a little scared as she drove by herself to the man’s University City apartment. They spent the first 20 minutes or so sitting on his living room couch engaged in awkward conversation. He told her about his job in computers and various health problems; she explained this was her first time as a professional.
“He was extremely nice,” Ava said. “But a guy like that is probably not going to go out to a bar and find somebody. And he wanted company.”

After they finalized their hourlong appointment, the man handed her an envelope with $150. Ava’s cut was $90.

Afterward, as she was driving home, Ava felt empowered. But was the experience satisfying or enjoyable? Not so much. “It made me happy to make him happy,” she said. “But there wasn’t much happening for him down there. Unfortunately that’s very common in what we do. And we get really excited when there’s a nice averaged-sized one. It’s like, ‘Alright, I can feel it!’”

And so began Ava’s career as an escort. And that is “escort,” not hooker or whore, Ava stressed. Those are the girls that stand on the street corner and turn tricks, usually to support a drug habit.

Ava said she operates a safe, legitimate business that makes people happy. “I’ve always enjoyed helping others, and this is a service that’s beneficial to a lot of people. I think it’s silly that’s illegal.”

Charlotte got a glimpse into the world of escorts in 2007 when the FBI arrested “Southpark Madam” Sallie Saxon, who was released from prison in March after serving a two-year sentence. Saxon ran “Hush Hush,” the largest Internet escort service in the country, according to prosecutors. Many of her clients were rich and powerful and would shell out up to $2,500 for a three-hour date with Saxon’s girls, usually at upscale hotels. Saxon made millions during her 15-year career as a madam.

Ava’s foray into prostitution isn’t quite so glamorous, but she provides a fascinating insight into a world and lifestyle that most people don’t know anything about.
She recounted her experiences recently over a cup of coffee at Starbucks. When I first spotted her she was smoking a cigarette and reading “The God Delusion,” in which author Richard Dawkins contends that believing in a supernatural creator is irrational and that religion has inflicted grievous harm on society.

Ava, 27, said she grew up going to church, but is now an atheist – something she mentioned several times during our conversation. Dressed casually in a simple green dress, she’s full-figured with a round face, straight, dark hair and dark eyes. She laughed nervously at some of my questions, but was also articulate, open and seemingly honest.
But before we get into her story, there are a few things we need to get out of the way. According to Ava:

1) She was never molested or raped.
2) She’s never had a drug problem.
3) She’s always had a good relationship with her parents, and remains close to her family.

“I don’t have some sob story,” she said. “I’ve had a very nice, healthy childhood and life.”

Which makes her decision to sell her body for money all the more puzzling. Ava, the oldest of four kids, was born and raised in the Charlotte area. During high school she was sexually adventurous and rebellious, and she admits to giving her parents plenty of grief, but nothing too extreme.
“I got a fake ID and started hanging out at bars at 15 and 16. But I barely drink now. In high school I smoked weed here and there, but never even tried cocaine. It’s gross to me. My only bad habit now is these,” she said, lighting up another cigarette.

Not long after she graduated high school she got married. She met her husband in a chat room, and the two dated for about two years before tying the knot. It only lasted a few months.

“He was a great guy, but I was just too young. I was more excited about the wedding than actually being married.”

After her divorce she moved home with her parents. It was not long after this that she and a friend, while in a Yahoo chat room, were contacted by a couple who ran a small escort business. The couple told Ava and her friend they both looked pretty and bubbly, and could earn nearly $100 for just an hour’s work.

It’s something most people would never consider, an altogether inconceivable, even insulting proposition. But something in Ava made her decide to go for it, to cross that line. “I wasn’t seeking out that kind of work, it just kind of fell into my lap,” she said. “It was great extra money, but it’s not why I got into it. I’ve just always been very open-minded and comfortable with sex and my body.”

Her first appointment with the University City client went off without a hitch. Next, Ava and her girlfriend were sent to do a “double” with a client, an encounter she can barely remember.

But after just two appointments, Ava had grown wary of the couple running the escort service. They told her nothing about the clients they sent her to, and security was non-existent. “They were just trashy,” Ava said.

So Ava and her girlfriend quit the escort service, figuring they could do better on their own. To attract clients, they posted their contact information and photos of themselves in chat rooms and online escort “hobby” boards.

It didn’t take long for horny and lonely guys to start calling, eager for some female companionship. The two girls, both still living at home, rented a hotel room in Charlotte for a weekly rate of about $750, which served as their base of operations.

“We had a great time,” Ava said. “We’d lay out at the hotel pool during the day and screen calls and schedule appointments. Lord knows what our parents thought we were doing.”
They averaged about 15 guys a week. Their hourly rate was $150 for a one-on-one date, and $250 if they double-teamed a guy, which was a common request. The girls were making more money than they ever had, and living like they were on vacation. “We’d get manicures and pedicures every week, go shopping at the mall, and eat out at nice restaurants.”
Ava said most of their clients were in their 20s and 30s, and a mixture of skittish guys who had never been with an escort before, and those for whom paying for sex was a common practice.

“We didn’t really have any bad experiences,” Ava said. “Occasionally we got somebody who sweated too much and that was kind of gross, but never anything frightening or scary where we felt like we were in danger.”

But the good times didn’t last long. Somehow her friend’s mother found out what they were up to, and that put an end to their fledgling escort operation. And after six months, Ava was ready to call it quits.

“I was scared it was going to catch up with me and something bad was going to happen.”

So just like that, Ava seamlessly slipped back into her old life. She returned to the hotel industry and worked her way up to sales manager. She bought a cozy two-bedroom house about 10 minutes from her parents. She also “got engaged a couple of times,” but always broke it off. “I’m just so picky and I refuse to settle,” she said.

For nearly five years she “was a good girl,” but then the recession hit. Her sales job slowed to a crawl, and she wasn’t happy working at the hotel. In fact, she was feeling restless and frustrated with her life, and one day she found herself thinking back to those six wild months and all the money she made.

“I thought, ya know, I never hated it. And if I really did it the right way, by the time I was 30 I could be a lot more financially secure and comfortable.”

So last September Ava got back into the world’s oldest profession. But this time she approached it like a serious business venture. She researched the industry and asked established, successful escorts for advice. She set up her own website, complete with professional photographs. She also listed her information on special escort sites like Bigdoggie.net and signed up for services that allowed her to screen potential clients.

“You have to run it like a business if you want to be successful,” she said. “It takes work. I don’t lay around eating bon-bons waiting for people to throw $200 at me.”
Rather than rent a hotel room like in the old days, Ava now sees clients at her home, which is in a suburban neighborhood. “I’m lucky everyone around here minds their own business.

I’ve never had anyone question what I do.”

And until recently no one except other girls in the industry knew what she did. But she told her little brother a few months ago after he moved in with her. She said he’s “very cool and supportive” about the whole thing, even when she boots him out for a few hours to entertain clients.

Ava said most of her appointments are during the week in the afternoon. “A lot of guys come by during their lunch break or just tell their boss they’re out with clients.”
Unlike the first time she was an escort, when most of her clients were single and relatively young, Ava said now the majority are married and in their late 40s and 50s.
“They love their wives, and speak highly of them. But they’re not intimate anymore. There’s not that connection. And they would rather do this than go out and have an affair because affairs hurt people. I have no reason to ruin someone’s life. I would never try to break up a marriage.”

And Ava said she’s developed a good reputation, which allows her to be more selective, not to mention make, on average, about $5,000 a month in cash. (She’s saving for a Mini Cooper convertible).

She’s also started traveling to cities where there’s a lot of demand, including Charleston, Roanoke and Knoxville. “I do really well in mid-sized cities,” she said.

She what’s known in the industry as GFE – girlfriend experience. This means she provides for her clients a more intimate, romantic experience, with candlelight, soft music, wine and conversation.

This is opposed to PSE – porn star experience. “I’m not going to get in crazy ass positions and start moaning and screaming. That’s not me. Most people are looking for someone they can connect with. I’m not some petite super model, but I do really well. It’s about your personality and making a guy feel special.”
And rather than just the one-hour sessions, Ava said many of her clients request date nights or even overnight trips. She recently had a client who lives near Columbia request she spend his birthday with him.

“We went out to dinner, a movie, and visited an adult sex shop and laughed at the toys. Then we went back to the hotel room, watched some TV, had maybe 20 minutes of a good time, and went to sleep.”

She had another overnight date recently in Charleston, where she and the client walked along the beach holding hands, had dinner at an upscale restaurant, and then cocktails in the hot tub. “In the eight hours we were together there was probably only 30 minutes of sex. It was a lovely time.”

But regardless of how much she might enjoy herself, Ava said she’s careful to keep these relationships in their proper perspective. “My regulars are awesome. They know more about my personal life than some of my friends.  But there still has to be a line. It is still a business relationship.”

As Ava continued to open up about her life, the light and airy vibe she projected faltered a bit. I certainly don’t claim to have any real insight into Ava or her motivations after just one encounter, as people are infinitely more complicated and complex than what they might say or an accounting of events. But I also can’t imagine any little girl, when dreaming what she wants to be when she grows up, envisions being a prostitute. And I told her that.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,” she said. “I get to do something I really enjoy, travel and make good money.  It’s not a bad gig if you do it the right way. And do it for the right reasons.”

But she also admitted that her job is very lonely and isolating, especially when she’s on the road. It’s during these times when doubt and sadness creep in, when despite her own rules, she finds herself longing for the men to stay behind and snuggle even after their time has expired. “But then I just remind myself that the right person will come along when they’re supposed to. And the second I meet someone that I think I could fall for, I will quit without a second thought. I could never do this if I was in love with somebody.”

~ Sam Boykin