Toilet Tipping

You’re out partying somewhere in the QC, and the inevitable occurs – it’s time to break the seal. Making your way through the crowd, you enter the bathroom and hope the line goes quickly so you can get back to your night. You finish your business, come out to wash your hands, and before you can check your teeth there is suddenly soap in your hand, the water is running, and a paper towel is ready for you. Of course there is, you stud you – you’re that important! Then you glance to the left and there it is – a jar on the counter brimming with glimmering coins and dollar bills.

It seems that more and more bars and restaurants are hiring attendants to … well, what? Make the establishment appear fancier? Be there for moral support? I’ve waitressed in several restaurants and for a long period in my life my entire income relied solely on tips. But I was performing a service: patrons would come in expecting to be waited on, and they needed me, or other servers – to take their orders, refresh their drinks, and bring their food. They couldn’t go into the kitchen and get their own food or go behind the bar and mix their own drinks (though many drunken ones have tried). But is it really necessary for someone to hover over me while I wash my hands, and pump soap into my palm when I am fully capable of doing it all by myself, like a big girl?

“I get so irritated!” says Rick, a resident of uptown Charlotte. “And then I feel obligated to give them money! I started leaving restrooms with attendants without even washing my hands, just so I don’t have to deal with them.”

Gross? Yes, but I, too, hate being put in a situation where I’m pressured to pay for something that I could have done without. Several people voiced their frustrations about these attendants for the same reasons, but others had a different opinion.

“Oh, have you ever met the attendant at Cosmos?” asked my husband. “He’s awesome.” “Why, what does he do?” I ask. “He’s just cool as shit. Always a good time, he brings his own music – it’s like a whole club inside a club over there.” I had to see this for myself.

My friend and I patiently stalk outside of the men’s bathroom at Cosmos until a man emerges, and we pounce. “Excuse me, but could you get the attendant to come out for a minute?” The guy quickly sizes us up, then sticks his head back in. “Hey, Big E! You got some ladies out here!” About 10 seconds later “Big E” appears. I tell him I want to ask him a few questions for an article I’m writing. “Sure – come on in.” He abruptly turns and heads back into the bathroom. Huh? I shrug my shoulders, and my friend and I head into his, um, office.

Once inside, I realize that Big E is the man. He’s been at Cosmos Cafe for three years, and he takes pride in his job. He brings a mini sound system in there and blasts tunes during his shift, and sets up a DVD player on top of it. He’s got Tums, Listerine, cigarettes, cologne, breath mints, spray deodorant – you name it, you need it, he’s got it. He’s not just sitting there wiping down the counter and looking busy; this is a man who loves his job and enjoys meeting new people. “That’s the best part of the job, the people. They’re great. I’ve met celebrities, too – Ric Flair, Patrick Ewing, UFC fighters from NYC.”

“And what’s the worst part?”

We all laugh, because we all know the answer. “You know, I always step outside when that time comes.”

We make note of the fact that there was no attendant in the women’s bathroom that night. “My cousin used to work there, but she stopped. Women don’t tip!” Big E says. It suddenly hits me that he is right. Women are used to going out and having guys pay for them, or not having cash on them. I know I’ve been guilty of wanting to leave a tip and having nothing but my debit card in my pocket, like the time a few weeks ago at BlackFinn. It was a Thursday night, the place was packed, and there was a long line for the bathroom, but the attendant was laughing with everyone, helping fix the ladies’ hair, and just having a blast, keeping the line moving all at the same time. I make a mental note to make sure I carry singles with me the next time I head over there.

I’ve personally never grabbed any of the items attendants have on display, like hairspray, gum, etc., but even so, I almost always feel pressured to leave something just because they are usually standing there watching. However, I decide that if I come across attendants that are as fun as Big E and the BlackFinn attendant, I would have no problem leaving a few bucks.

(I’d like to take a moment to thank my friend Stacy – a friend will barhop with you, but a true friend will bathroom bar hop with you. Thanks for being a true friend, Stac!)

~ Ali Salvatore